When I look in the mirror.
I just don't want to get my hopes up anymore...
weesley-ham: I want to take someone on a date, where we will have a great time with just us two. I want to make them feel special, making this day and moment memorable to only us two. It would be great, especially with pictures to add to it. Just Us Two.
pamelajk: Do not get mad at the girls that flirt with your boyfriend. Get mad at him for letting them and possibly doing it back.
My dad just emailed me this huge list of puns oh...
I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault.
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
ugly people: everyone's beautiful
the real mrs.bieber: This goes out to all the... →
fosholola: Fuck that nigga who did you wrong. You deserve so much better. If they don’t make an effort to show they care then why should you? Don’t make fool out of yourself. Pick yourself up from the ground and show the world you’re a fucking strong independent women. Be the girl that the…
I get surprised when i find out people out there...